The concept of God

Is the concept of God exist because we are human? If I am a bird, do I have meaning? Do I have feeling? Do I know that I am a bird? Maybe no.

For many times in my thirty something of my life , I had lot of luckiness and also troubles as far as I can remember. By any of all those occurrences, I can slightly remember that somehow, someway, there was/is something whispers in my thought dictating or inspiring on what of my next move. Be it becomes my behaviors, me decisions, my actions. One thing always lead to another and another leads to another. Sometime I cheat it, sometime I think I`ve been forced to follow (indeed, I am just a clay-based rigid body). But as far as I can think of, I always get help on what I need the most.  This is beyond my reach. Uncertainty and `coincidence` is always be His favorite playing field.

As for that matter, God is always by my side. Even smallest thing can makes my day brighter. But here`s the trick. By every time I feel relieve, safe, proud, happy, God will send His grace to test me. Why? Because He wants to foster my soul. Only human has soul, right? So soul can only be stronger through series of unpleasant in life. Joyful and happiness are always increasing the value of entropy and that`s why unpleasant in life will preserve my balance and keep me focus on what my body is used for God`s plan on me.

The more I feel unpleasant, the more I will discover how wonderful life would be like. This kind of paradox only human can posses. Angels only knew one side. They don`t feel.

If I thank for God for all those He inspiring me to chose, and I pray for only peace of mind and good things happen to my relatives in the future, do I deserve for His heaven? or hell?  Is there any of those?

What is pray anyway. For me, or for Him? Obviously for me, I am nothing.

What is doing good deeds anyway. For me, or for Him? Obviously for me, I am in the jungle here.

I believe there is blueprint of every  of us. So if I was born to become a rock star, I will become a rock star.

Is that makes me going to hell? who knows? He who plans me though.


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