Peculiar thought

It is a peculiar thing.

Being a father gives you a miraculous feeling of love and care and it is embodied in your heart that change completely the way you see the world. There is no way to describe it. It only emerge once you are finally cradle and hold them and they sleep peacefully on your chest. Your heartbeats synchronize.

Full circle only happen if you are a father. Not a lover.

Furthermore, being a father in a distance only makes those feeling more sensible and stronger. You lost your precious aspect as human being: interaction. Communication is instant cure but it can not replace  gestures, body language and other tacit interaction that happen in no distance. The feeling of emptiness begins side by side with passion and affection of your only dear.

Far ahead, being a father in a distance and without anymore existence of other pair called mother can only makes those feelings finally occupied by other new legiun of dissapointment. Like a virus they join together with emptiness, disbeliefs, ignorance and regret try to intoxicate those few which, by this far, still not vanished away apparently .

Battle of these poles will always become part of me who unconsciously might not transformed into less peculiar. Nothing is like it seems and I realize that I am not in a state of ordinary man anymore. You can call me odd, indeed I am.

Think I could call my left-wing brigades more often. Those guys are the best in dealing with this circumstances and you can always count on them.

Compartment-ize those love and care for your dearest and let others float in a universe without any forces.


About this entry